Good morning ladies, gentlemen, and those of you who know better! I am the enchanting Artemis and this is the Laughing Craft. Today I want to briefly talk about literacy. It is important to be able to read and understand the meaning of the weird squiggles formed from language. Whether it’s a stop sign, instructions on a medicine bottle, or the terms of a restraining order, the ability to know words is vital to being a functioning adult human. Ask any millennial, being a functional adult human is a fucking miracle. It would be quite the feather in any magician’s cap to have that ability. Precognition would also be nice, and that’s where divination comes in.
My teacher, a great black magician, once said that “device determines advice”. Language fluency also impacts the advice. When selecting a method of divination it is important to know what it means. Drawing the Aiwaz rune, or the three of swords card means a certain thing and the reading depends on your understanding of the symbols presented. The “I suddenly can’t read” meme invalidates every divination attempt. If you get bad omens, abandon ship. It is frustrating to see everyone get an ill omen, and then have them claim “haha my heart wasn’t in that one” and redraw. It’s more frustrating to say I’m everyone.
As I mentioned in my first post, I prefer Chaos Magick methods in my craft. This includes all sorts of DIY divination systems. The one that was most effective was also my earliest. At the ripe old age of 12 I invented Birdomancy. I can not stress this enough that one should only perform Birdomancy if they are an early riser and live in an agreeable climate. Sleep with a window open and be awoken by various birds getting various worms. Where I was living at 12 had two main types of bird song in the morning, cute tiny sparrow peeps and the large foreboding call of crows. If I heard a sparrow, it was to be a good day. If I heard a crow however, it was going to be a rough one. If I heard both, whichever omen had more bird voices was the dominant theme but with a twist of the other. While entertaining at 12, this is not the most practical nor the most effective means of asking the vastness of the universe for esoteric advice
Most divination routines and rituals, as far as I’m aware, involve three general components. The most important is, as you may have guessed from the thesis, is the lexical element. Whether you forecast with the I Ching hexagrams, the Thoth Tarot deck, neighborhood birds, or even a can of cheap ravioli slam dunked in a parking lot at 3 AM, knowing the shapes and themes of the portents matter. The second element is randomness. You flip coins, shuffle cards, or observe the twists and turns of birds in flight. Pulling knowledge of the future is the same as forming order out of chaos. Another note from my teacher is this: don’t ask what will happen. Ask what you need to deal with to get what you want. From my experience, this is a more positive and productive practice. The third element is the simplest. The magician themselves. Without you, divination is just Nature Vibing.
I must confess that I advocate against my fellow witches and say “If you own a tarot deck you’re not allowed to complain about spoilers!” However I will also mention that I do not purposefully spoil things unless asked. It’s important to mind one’s manners in any situation. Even if you’re right.